You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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