he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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