My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
