im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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