can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
