Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
