And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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