You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
