What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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