You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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