Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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