I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
