so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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