after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
