I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
