its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
