i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
