All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
