Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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