My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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