I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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