ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
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