id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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