dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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