Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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