we made out on top of his cat.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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