I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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