oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
