dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
