Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
