i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
