ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
