I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
