I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
