Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
