You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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