She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
