i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
