ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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