apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
