She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
