ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
