Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
