Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
