Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
