It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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