He is such a slut. More and more my type.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
