What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I think your dad took our porno
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
