O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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