Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
