now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
