Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
