Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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