Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
